Jimmy's Journal

By Chesire Cat

I was diagnosed with autism when I was six. It hasn’t affected my life too much; I just sometimes have trouble telling the difference between real life and a sitcom-like scenario. My doctor says it’s not too uncommon. It’s peculiar I live life in this manner, with shallow or non-existent relationships with people I relate to television characters. This has been the case almost my entire life with every person I came into contact with; every person aside from Allie McDermott. I discovered Allie during our first week of college. She was a fascinating person. When I first saw her, she reminded me of an earlier version of Pam Beesly, with her cute charm and seemingly apparent slight wit, but the more I observed her, the less that held true. We had a class together that year, so it wasn’t difficult to find out about this mystery Miss McDermott. Mondays and Thursdays at 10:00, I sat behind her in Psychology 100. It reminded me of the classic scenario in Mean Girls with the protagonist falling for the unknown person in a class with them. This would be true except for me not being attracted to her. I’m not gay or anything, I just have a hard time in finding girls interesting. I told my mom about this girl after the first day of Psych, but she said something about it taking a long time to explain, and I’d be better off writing about her in my journal. She says that a lot when she drinks wine. I guess I’d better listen to her.

Thursday, September 3, 2009
09:47:54
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

Allie takes her seat in front of me again. I’m in the 7^th row and 3^rd seat from the right. She’s dressed differently today, a lot like one of those kids from Jersey Shore. It was surprising to not see her in her t-shirt, hoodie, and Converse shoes like normal. A young man sits down next to her, which is the first time I’ve seen him. He’s dressed similarly. I can only conclude that Allie is romantically interested in this boy. Class continues as normal, but I notice Allie frequently look up from her work to watch the young man taking notes. He has been oblivious to this thus far. It’s a classic Elle and Warner situation like in Legally Blonde.

Monday, September 7, 2009
11:53:13
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

Allie and Ryan Johnson take their seats again. He plays football here and is a Biology major. He also likes spending his spare time playing guitar outside. I’m intrigued by how they both came in together. Did they meet when I looked away last class? Curious. I notice her giggle a lot as he talked to her. Similar to the Pink Ladies from Grease. He’s one of the T-Birds. They seem to enjoy each other’s companyu7. Wow. I just coughed. That hasn’t happened in a while. Nothing more but giggling and chatting, they’re not paying attention to the professor at all. I’m predicting the incident like in Season 5 of the Office where Pam and that art school kid get scolded for laughing. Class is over and they leave class together, now holding hands. I’m starting to get a headache?

Thursday, September 10, 2009
10:56:14
Location: My Room Hall Hall Room 203

I’m feeling under the weather. No class today. Observations continue Monday.

Monday, September 14, 2009
9:57:12
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

Allie and Ryan take their seats again. They’re less giggly this class, but they remain almost inseparable. They romantically talk to each other on Facebook like millions of short, clichéd romance stories written for teenage girls with a poor attention span and worse self-esteem. The professor calls on Allie for the answer to a question and Ryan whispers it to her. It’s the wrong answer, but I didn’t expect him to know it. His apathy and general disinterest to class is a lot like Van Wilder’s. I guess that’s how he gets girls. As for me, I’m still fighting this nasty cold I have, and it’s not showing signs of improvement. It’s weird. I don’t normally get sick, especially around this time of the year. I wonder what’s been causing it.

Thursday, September 17, 2009
10:02:23
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

Class started two minutes and twenty three seconds late today. The professor strutted in here with apologies, like the first day of most college films. Allie and Ryan were already talking to each other and giggling. I got much more sick last night, throwing up for the first time in almost 12 years. I should see a doctor soon. The professor is going over the review sheet for our upcoming test and Allie just kissed Ryan. We’re learning about mental disorders, so I guess that excuses me to sllluoioiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…

Thursday, September 17, 2009
19:03:36
Location: Glen Hospital Room 426

Apparently I passed out during class due to a low white blood cell count. I don’t know how this happened but that’s what’s been allowing me to get so sick. Observations continue when I return.

Monday, October 12, 2009
09:45:45
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

I’m back. During my weeks off, I did proxy work for class, took a proxy test, and earned a proxy 100% test grade. It wasn’t difficult; it’s just the human brain. I see Ryan come in and take a seat across the room. Allie is nowhere to be found. This leaves me to believe that she’s come ill and he doesn’t want to catch what she has. Maybe it’s like a zombie virus, like in Shaun of the Dead. No illness, just pestering. Oh, we’re learning about the metaphysics of the mind. This is great.

Thursday, October 15, 2009
09:56:12
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

Allie comes in and takes her seat in front of me. Ryan remains across the room in the 3^rd row, 6^th seat from the left. This must be like the plot twist in a romantic comedy where the two protagonists get into an argument. She looks upset, but is back to general attire. Maybe they aren’t together. Who knows?

Monday, October 19, 2009
10:34:21
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

Allie turns around and asks me for a pen. Of course I have a few to spare, and of course I give her one. She smiles at me and says, ”Thanks.” I don’t know what’s starting to come over me. I feel like what I assume Will Ferrell feels like when he performs any of his numerous juvenile characters: Buddy the Elf, Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights, or even Brennan from Step Brothers. I feel happy but confused, stupid and cunning, all at the same time. Is this what a “crush” is?

Monday, October 19, 2009
14:13:24
Location: Hall Hall Room 203

Upon further research I have come to the conclusion that I do, in fact, have a “crush” on Allie McDermott. The rest of the week will be spent figuring out what to do next.

Thursday, October 22, 2009
10:29:46
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

Upon investigation of Google, I found that small talk is a way to kick up a relationship with someone else. I plan deceit of poor Allie. “Hey, do you have a pen?” I have plenty in my bag, but attempt this clever ruse. She turns around and with a sincere apology she says, “Sorry, I really don’t. What’s your name by the way? I see you in here all the time but we never talk.” This is working better than expected. “I’m Jimmy,” I reply. She answers, “Well, hello Jimmy. I’m Allie.” We both smile and continue with our work.

Monday, October 26, 2009
10:02:02
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

Allie is in her seat and I’m in mine. She’s playing Seinfeld Trivia on the computer and is doing horribly. I know each answer without the option of multiple choices. It’s basic recollection of info. She turns to me. “Jimmy, my computer’s about to die and I don’t have a charger. Could I borrow yours?” Of course I lend it to her, my computer has a full charge. I’m overcome with impulse. Before she has even finished turning around, I bark, “Allie, would you like to get lunch after class?” She turns back to look at me. With a genuine smile she says, “I’d love to,” then turns back around.

Monday, October 26, 2009
12:50:10
Location: Common Area Dining Hall

Allie just left our lunch date. It went well from what I thought. We continued talking the entire time and she remained smiling for most of the meal. She ate a salad along with a slice of pizza. She drank water. I found out she’s a cat person, she hates winter, and seems curiously omniscient. She reminds me of a white, female, Morgan Freeman. This is a curious situation I’m in. Normally, I’d hate being around someone for more than five minutes, short of my close friends, but Allie has an interesting hold on me. She could keep me tuned in for hours.

Thursday, October 29, 2009
09:46:30
Location: Unity Hall Room 120

I take my seat and Allie comes in shortly after. She asks if the seat next to me is taken. Petrified but excited, I answer that it isn’t and she sits next to me, smiling again. She seems almost blindly happy, like a protagonist on a Disney Channel series. As I type this and do my notes, I notice her keep looking over at me. Is there something on my face? I check to find nothing; she’s just watching me. She’s just completed a note and passes it over I read it. It contains the following:

“Hey, we should do something later. Maybe a movie or something? How about my room at 7. I’m on your floor.”

Instead of writing back, I look at her and impulsively say, "We should just be a couple." The overwhelming joy on her face perplexes me, but I see a bit of where she's coming from. I'm happy too, I have a girlfriend.